


(OLD VERSION) I Didn't Say I Was Nervous

by ladymac111



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Eloping, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-12 01:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymac111/pseuds/ladymac111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the OLD VERSION, please read the New Version <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5371190">link</a></p><p>The morning after "We're Catching An Early Train". Sherlock and John leave for Gretna Green, but there's a lot they haven't said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(OLD VERSION) I Didn't Say I Was Nervous

**Author's Note:**

> I've ridden a train once in my life, and that was Amtrak. Most of what I know about British trains is from Harry Potter and Miss Marple.

They got out of the cab, and John scrambled to keep up with Sherlock as he strode purposefully into Euston Station in the middle of morning rush hour. “Hey! You could at least take your bag!”

Sherlock stopped short, and John almost ran into him. “Sorry.” He took the bag John offered, but still seemed distracted as he took off walking again.

“What's going on with you today?”

“Nothing. I'm fine. Why?”

John sighed. “I get that this is weird. It's weird for me too. But you could at least pretend that you're not trying to run away from me.”

“I'm not trying to run away from you.” His steps slowed, and John finally reached his side. “I'm just … I have these _feelings_ and I don't know what to do.”

“It's okay to be nervous,” John said, trying to sound reassuring. “If it helps, I'm nervous too.”

“I didn't say I was nervous.”

“Doesn't mean it isn't true.”

Sherlock didn't answer, but stepped up to the window and purchased their tickets before leading John away to the platform. They arrived just in time, and had barely settled into their compartment before the train pulled away.

They sat in silence for a while, watching London go by. Sherlock finally spoke when the breakfast trolley came by. “Two coffees. One black, one with sugar.”

“Anything to eat?”

“No.”

“A blueberry scone, please,” John said, and caught the look Sherlock gave him. “What? There was no food in the flat because _someone_ didn't do the shopping like I asked.”

“No point when we're going away for a week. Thank you.” Sherlock accepted their coffees and paid before turning back to John. “The way you ate last night I didn't think you'd be hungry.”

“Once again, you've forgotten that I'm not actually you,” John said, taking a tentative sip of coffee that scalded the tip of his tongue. He turned to the scone instead. “Sure you're not hungry?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

The silence stretched again, and finally John sighed. “This is ridiculous, Sherlock.”

“What is?”

“This us-not-talking. This awkwardness. It's not like we can pretend last night didn't happen because obviously it _did_ , or we wouldn't be on this train right now.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You could start by acting like you want to be here,” John said bitterly.

“Of course I want to be here,” Sherlock said.

“You're not acting like it,” John countered. “You've barely looked at me today.”

Sherlock looked down at his coffee.

“See? You're doing it again.”

Bright eyes flicked up and his brow furrowed. “I don't understand what it is you want me to do, John!”

“I want you to act like you're _happy_. I want you to _be_ happy. In case you forgot, yesterday you asked me to marry you, and I said yes. And now here we are, going to get married. Today is our _wedding day,_ Sherlock. Generally people are happy about that.”

“I _am_ happy.”

“I can't tell,” John said. “I really want to feel happy today. I want _you_ to be happy today. But ...” He sighed. “Right now it just feels like a huge mistake.”

“It's not a mistake, John! I do want this, more than you know. More than I can show. You know I'm bad with emotions.”

“Not usually this bad.”

“Nothing has ever mattered this much to me. I'm afraid I'm going to screw it up, or you're suddenly going to realize what's going on and back out.”

“Sherlock.” John got up and sat down beside him, rather than facing, and took his hand. The touch was more natural than he expected, and Sherlock didn't pull away. “You have to trust me. I've known you long enough to know exactly what I'm getting into. And even though things are happening really fast, you haven't been imagining my … attachment to you.” He licked his lips before he could go on. “I've known since we first met that I couldn't see my life without you, and I know now that I've loved you for a long time.”

Sherlock's head turned, and his pale eyes searched John's face. “You've never said that to me before.”

“What a terrible oversight,” John said, and they giggled. “It feels good. Why don't you try it?”

Sherlock smiled and squeezed his hand. “Perhaps later. This isn't the sort of thing that one jumps into.”

“Oh, and marriage is?”

“Come on, John, people assume that we are already.” He ran his thumb over John's knuckles. “There is one thing, though. Something I want to … get out of the way, before we get to Scotland.”

“What is it?"

“I know that we're doing this all wrong, all out of order, but this … until last night, I was afraid to ask.”

“And you thought a marriage proposal was the better thing to start with? I can't imagine what it is.”

“When it comes to certain things, John, you'll find I'm the worst coward. And if you'll remember, I didn't actually ask you anything yesterday.”

“No, you asked me how spicy I wanted my curry.”

“You know what I mean.” Sherlock looked down at their hands, clasped together on John's knee. “But this other thing.” He paused, took a steadying breath. “I'd like to kiss you.”

John unconsciously moistened his lips again. “Seems reasonable.”

Sherlock turned, and John turned, and their knees pressed together as they tried to face each other on the seat. “I'm afraid I'm a bit out of practice. And I don't think I was ever very good.”

“I don't care.” John brought his free hand up to caress the side of Sherlock's face, and they leaned into a gentle press of lips.

Sherlock sighed as they parted. “I can see why people like that.”

“That was nothing,” John said. “That was kissing for beginners.”

“I know,” Sherlock replied, a little indignant. “I've … lots of things. You know, before.”

“It's different now, though. With someone you love.”

“Very. Indescribably.” He leaned in again, and their next kiss was firmer, more sure.

When they pulled apart again, John felt warm and relaxed and immensely happy. “You're better at that than you think.”

“Am I?”

“Definitely. It's different than anything I've experienced before.”

“Different than your girlfriends.”

“To put it bluntly, yes. But it's nice.”

“It doesn't feel strange to you, kissing a man?”

“It feels _different_ , like I said. But I think _strange_ left the building when I accepted I was in love with you. And it's weird, but … I guess I don't feel _gay_ , you know?”

“Neither do I. But I never felt straight either.”

“With you, it's this totally different thing,” John went on. “With you it doesn't matter that I fancy women, and it doesn't matter that you're a man, because what I feel for _you_ is something I've never felt before.”

Sherlock lowered his head, and rested his forehead against John's. “I never knew I could feel like this.” He took a deep breath. “John, will you marry me?”

John leaned back and laughed. “You're mad.”

“Please, John. I never really asked, and this is important. I want to do it right.”

“You never want to do _anything_ right.”

“Nothing has ever mattered before. _John._ ” His expression was as earnest as John had ever seen. “Please answer. Will you marry me?”

To his surprise, John's heart fluttered and he had a hard time finding his voice. “Yes. Yes, Sherlock, I'll marry you.”

Sherlock's face split into a broad smile, and John couldn't help but kiss him again.

“So, did you actually make any plans?”

“I didn't think I needed to. One typically doesn't, when one is eloping. I thought we'd just show up this afternoon and fill out the forms, and it should be fine. I imagine they see a lot of this sort of thing.”

“I imagine so, yes. And I suppose you haven't booked a hotel either.”

“Should be easy to find one with a room free.”

“Yes, but we'll have to check in right away if we're going to change clothes. That's why you wanted me to bring my suit, isn't it?”

“I'm sure it won't be a problem.”

“Whatever you say.” John picked up his coffee and took a sip. Just right.

**Author's Note:**

> I looked it up on Google maps, and Euston Station is less than ten minutes from 221 Baker Street by car. But I figured, Sherlock would take a cab. Too good for the Tube.


End file.
